If I had a nickle for every time I have been asked “How’s married life” in the past five months…
It’s been everyone’s favorite question. It has probably been my favorite to be asked. I usually want to respond with “May I ask why you are asking?” I know most people are probably asking out of politeness. Some may actually want to know. But ever since one of my friends said that people were shocked when she answered the same question with “good”, I have had this fear that people are expecting me to complain. I never have time to really flesh out how married life really is because the question is usually in passing, and most people probably really don’t want to hear my five month commentary on the realities of being married. But this is a joy of having my own blog. I can fully express how married life is, and those who truly care, can read to their hearts’ content.
Let me start by saying that first of all, married life is truly AMAZING! It is definitely unlike anything I ever pictured it to be. A couple of months after being married I was asked if I would recommend marriage. I wanted to reply “DUH!!! WHO WOULDN’T!?” But I replied more maturely and said “Oh definitely!” Marriage has been a true blessing. I do not believe I have ever learned so much in five months, nor have I ever been humbled more times in such a short period of time. I know that there are only more lessons to come and more humbling moments awaiting me. I cannot wait (seriously!).
The main lesson I am learning is being a servant. I honestly thought I’d be pretty good at this before Josh and I got married. I was horribly wrong! I am the most selfish, self-serving wife that probably has ever existed. I have still not perfected this act of serving, but I try–not to brag and say that I serve my husband– but because I love him; and the love I have is to echo the love of Christ and is acted out in service. I have found that when I sacrifice and serve Josh there is a bond between us that strengthens. I’m not as quick to pick a small fight with him. I find joy in serving him. But all in all my main goal in serving Josh is to show my love for him, because I do love him greatly.
Now let me go ahead and say, things have not been perfect. I do not want to sugar coat marriage by any means. The blessings definitely outweigh any con that could ever be stated about marriage. But Josh and I have had our bumps, but by God’s grace he has seen us over them.
The first struggle was initially dealt with while we were dating. You see, Josh is one of those people who squeezes the toothpaste from the middle, crushing the perfect form of the tube into a wrinkled mess. I, on the other hand, am like my mother and follow the rules that are on the back of the tube: “for best use, squeeze from bottom.” Over the past months Josh has gotten somewhat better at his handling of the toothpaste. He no longer completely mauls the tube. Though from time to time I do have to go behind him and reshape the tube to its original and intentional shape.
The second major conflict has been over blankets and the sharing of the bed. For those of you who have read my blog “The Perfect Fit,” you know about how the bed we purchased was to help keep each spouse on his or her own side. However, this was not as preventive as we thought it would be. Josh and I have both unknowingly found ourselves on the other’s side of the bed. This has proven to be quite dangerous. Twice I have either kicked or kneed Josh right in the middle of his back (I blame the fact that he comes to bed HOURS after I have already been deep in sleep for some time). He has whacked me across my body on a couple of occasions, but he is notorious for exiling me to the very edge of the bed completely incapable of shoving his sleep-paralyzed body back to his half of the bed.
He is also a very tricky blanket thief. I just recently discovered his secret method. He waits until I am comfortably positioned on my side of the bed, warm and cozy under the covers. He then will climb into bed with the lights off, get all situated under the covers. Then just when you are dozing off into the first sleep cycle, he pretends to need to get up for something and he rolls over, taking the blankets with him and turns on the lamp and gets out of bed, taking all of the covers and warmth with him. He’s recently been made aware of my knowledge of his method and I am pretty sure he is concocting a new plan of attack.
Now please do not believe that I am completely innocent on annoyances here. I do plenty of little things to irritate him. Mine are just more like multiple mosquito bites accumulated slowly one by one by a hidden mosquito. Josh’s just come out bluntly biting in full view (probably because I am slightly bias in my observations). I am one of those people who as soon as I am ready, I am ready and I want to walk out the door. Josh can’t stand this about me and has tried in vain to fix it. Also he hates when I am stressed and hurried and start doing my “fast movements” because they stress him out and he’s been ready for at least thirty minutes by now. For a full list of what I do to annoy Josh you will have to consult him and ask him how married life is.
To sum it up, marriage has been a true blessing. It helps that I have a wonderful man of God as my husband. He’s been encouraging and a strength to me. He is a true leader. He has been a wonderful husband and I know one day he will make a wonderful father. When that happens I will write a blog entitled “How’s Parenthood?” But for now, we’re simply enjoying the wonderful blessing which is married life.