His words are still racing through my mind, convicting me every day.
It was Mother’s Day and things were more stressful than normal. But I had managed to get both girls dressed in adorable outfits and I was at least dressed.
We had Baby Dedication at church that morning and it was Lottie’s turn. We hurried to the room where all the other parents were gathering who were also dedicating their children.
I looked around. There were mothers in all different stages. Some dedicating their first. Some their second, third. Some multiple kids. Some were dedicating one while pregnant with another. But every single other mother was well put together; they had make up on and their hair was fixed.
My hair was a mound of frizz that I gathered into a ponytail.
“Oh well, my kids are cute,” I thought to myself.
We did the dedication.
I dropped Lottie off in nursery.
And Josh and I proceeded into the rest of the service.
We sang a couple songs.
They took the offering.
The scripture was read.
And then it happened.
Our pastor got up to pray before his sermon.
He began by praising the Lord for the baby dedication, saying that he was thankful for these moms whose “single greatest desire for their children is their salvation.”
My heart stopped, dropped, crushed.
What did he say?
“A mother’s single greatest desire is for the salvation of her children.”
It wasn’t mine.
Over the past two years I have been concerned about so many other things:
What they were eating.
What they were wearing.
What they were watching.
What they were reading.
What toys they played with.
What vaccines they received.
If they got bathed.
If they talked back to me.
If they hit/pinched/kicked.
If they knew their alphabet.
If they could walk/crawl/jump/run.
And SO many other things occupied my mind.
And occasionally I probably prayed for their salvation.
But if you would have asked me, I most likely would have said that “absolutely, yes!” I wanted my children to know the grace and mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ and become the adopted children of God our Father.
But my actions did not reflect that. I could not have honestly said that my SINGLE GREATEST desire was the salvation of my children.
And it should be.
I should pray every moment that I can that Corley and Lottie come to know Jesus as their savior. Because without Him, these days of terrible two’s disobedience will only be a foreshadowing of the sin and disobedience that will come later in life.
Those words of our pastor race through my mind every day.
And most days, I’m still failing to make my children’s salvation the most important thing to me. But on the days that I do, when I take time to pause and let those words run deep into my heart, the stresses of the day tend to disappear. Because it’s in those moments that I recognize what’s really important. And it’s not intelligence or abilities, but it’s salvation, it’s adoption. It’s grace. Grace for this mama and grace for my children.
I pray for grace to change my heart. Grace to truly make my single, greatest desire that my children come to love and worship and be known by our Lord Jesus Christ. Because there is nothing greater that could happen to my children. And what mother doesn’t want the best for her child? And Jesus Christ is definitely the best.
(Note: this picture was not from Mother’s Day…I’ll save that story for another day)